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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Breaking via Facebook:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Making waves on WeChat:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Just landed via X:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Just landed via Messenger:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Making waves on Threads:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Just shared via Discord:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Just landed via Discord:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Coffee is just goth water.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Spotted on Messenger:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Spotted on TikTok:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Reported on Slack:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Making waves on X:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

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