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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Seen just now on Threads:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Making waves on Slack:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Spotted on TikTok:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spotted on WeChat:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Funny stuffed quotes

New funny stuffed quotes 👇

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

2 weeks ago

animal, animals, bridge, calculation, car, family, hold, i, kids, sorry, stuffed, stuffed animal, travel, vacation, weight

All funny stuffed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

82 shares on X this month:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

34 shares on Threads this month:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

66 shares on Discord this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Spotted on Reddit:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Just landed via WeChat:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just landed via Discord:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny stuffed quotes

New funny stuffed quotes 👇

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

All funny stuffed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨