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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Going viral on YouTube:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Going viral on Reddit:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Making waves on Discord:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Just landed via YouTube:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Going bananas on Slack:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Trending via Snapchat:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Going viral on Telegram:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,992

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Spotted on Threads:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Making waves on Threads:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Going viral on X:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Seen just now on Threads:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Just shared via Facebook:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

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