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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Trending via Pinterest:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Just shared via Discord:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Seen just now on Discord:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Seen just now on X:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Making waves on Telegram:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Spotted on Reddit:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,052

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,052

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Just shared via X:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Just shared via WeChat:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Making waves on Slack:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Spotted on Twitch:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Trending via Facebook:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

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