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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Going viral on WeChat:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Breaking via X:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Making waves on Reddit:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Making waves on Reddit:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Just shared via Slack:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They expect me to work at work.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Trending via Discord:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

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