Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Just landed via Reddit:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Live now on TikTok:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Going viral on X:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Trending via X:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Funny tortillas quotes

New funny tortillas quotes 👇

All funny tortillas quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Trending via Threads:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Spotted on Discord:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Just landed via Twitch:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

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