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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Reported on Messenger:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Reported on Instagram:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Time needs a speed limit.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Spotted on Slack:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Live now on Discord:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Going viral on X:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Going viral on TikTok:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Just landed via WeChat:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Just shared via Threads:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

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