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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Spotted on Threads:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Breaking via Discord:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Trending via Messenger:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Just shared via X:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Funny unrealistic standards quotes

New funny unrealistic standards quotes 👇

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

0

2 months ago

clean, creature, creatures, Disney, help, humor, i, just, laundry, me, set, sing, standards, unrealistic, unrealistic standards, window, woodland, woodland creature

Someone from 🇮🇱 has recently bookmarked this quote.

99 shares on Pinterest this month.

All funny unrealistic standards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

93 shares on X this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Going bananas on Telegram:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Spotted on Messenger:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Trending via Discord:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have a yearning disability.

Making waves on WeChat:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Making waves on Instagram:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny unrealistic standards quotes

New funny unrealistic standards quotes 👇

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

All funny unrealistic standards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨