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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

44 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Making waves on X:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Reported on Instagram:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Going viral on Instagram:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Going viral on Reddit:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Trending via WeChat:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Going viral on Threads:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Home » Funny Unrealistic Standards Quotes

Funny unrealistic standards quotes

New funny unrealistic standards quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Commentary:
🌲🐿️🧹✨ "Disney really had us all fooled with their princess movies, making us believe that a catchy tune and an open window would lead to woodland creatures doing our chores. I don't know about you, but my neighborhood squirrels are not interested in folding laundry anytime soon!" 😂 #DisneyMagicGoneWrong 🎶

For even more funny unrealistic standards quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unrealistic standards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

44 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Reported on WeChat:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Live now on Snapchat:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Live now on TikTok:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Just landed via Threads:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

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