Funny urination quotes

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I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

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Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

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I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

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Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

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Problematic bed time gap relationship.

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Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

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It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

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Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

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The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

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There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.