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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

161 Funny used quotes

Funny used quotes are like those quirky thrift store finds that make you chuckle and wonder who owned them before 😄🛍️. They carry the wit and charm of a well-worn joke, guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. Whether you’re seeking a giggle or just want to sprinkle some humor into your day, these gems are the perfect way to lighten the mood and tickle your funny bone! 😂✨

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I used to have a great future in my past.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

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