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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Going viral on Slack:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Just shared via Instagram:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Making waves on WeChat:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Reported on TikTok:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Spotted on Threads:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Shared recently on TikTok:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

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