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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Just shared via Messenger:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Making waves on Reddit:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Trending via Twitch:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Funny verbal expression quotes

New funny verbal expression quotes 👇

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

2 days ago

after, around, art, art critique, art museum, banger, casual, casual talk, critique, expression, humor, museum, museum visit, painting, saying, slang, talk, verbal, verbal expression, visit, walking

All funny verbal expression quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

54 shares on Threads this month:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Trending via Telegram:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Spotted on Slack:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Just shared via Slack:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Making waves on Threads:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Just shared via TikTok:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny verbal expression quotes

New funny verbal expression quotes 👇

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

All funny verbal expression quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨