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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Making waves on Threads:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Seen just now on X:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Going viral on WeChat:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Spotted on Instagram:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Trending via Pinterest:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Spotted on TikTok:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Going viral on Messenger:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Reported on Facebook:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Just shared via Messenger:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

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