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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Spotted on Discord:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Just shared via Threads:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Making waves on Slack:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Trending via X:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Funny wedding planning quotes

New funny wedding planning quotes 👇

All funny wedding planning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Reddit this month:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

22 shares on Discord this month:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,772

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Breaking via Threads:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Just shared via YouTube:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Spotted on Telegram:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Just shared via Telegram:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

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