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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Just landed via Discord:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Just landed via Reddit:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Shared recently on Threads:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Funny willis quotes

New funny willis quotes 👇

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

0

2 months ago

asteroid, back, bruce, Bruce Willis, fiction, humor, i, ID, irony, movie, movie reference, reference, saving, science, science fiction, stop, time, time travel, travel, willis

Someone from 🇿🇼 has recently bookmarked this quote.

106 shares on YouTube this month.

All funny willis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on X this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

16 shares on Slack this month:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

59 shares on X this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Just landed via X:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Trending via TikTok:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Live now on Slack:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Live now on Reddit:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Seen just now on X:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Just shared via Reddit:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Seen just now on X:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny willis quotes

New funny willis quotes 👇

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

All funny willis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨