Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Making waves on Discord:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Going viral on Facebook:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Just landed via Slack:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Spotted on Discord:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Live now on Threads:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Funny yawning quotes

Funny yawning quotes 😂 are the perfect way to turn those contagious yawns into a burst of laughter! Whether you’re battling mid-day snooziness or just love a good giggle, these witty sayings will have you chuckling instead of dozing off 😴✨. Get ready to embrace the sleepy side of life with humor that’s totally contagious—but in a good way! 😆🛌 #YawningGoals

New funny yawning quotes 👇

All funny yawning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

46 shares on Slack this month:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,756

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hope this email kills us both.

Shared recently on Slack:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Trending via TikTok:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Just landed via Threads:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Spotted on Twitch:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Just shared via Snapchat:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

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