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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Spotted on Threads:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Going bananas on Threads:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Trending via Instagram:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Live now on TikTok:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Funny year book quotes

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All funny year book quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

23 shares on Slack this month:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Making waves on Threads:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Going viral on Discord:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Going viral on Instagram:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Trending via Snapchat:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

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