Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Seen just now on X:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Making waves on WeChat:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Spotted on Discord:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Going viral on WeChat:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Game night with the family: where alliances are formed, rivalries are born, and the table flips when I lose 😅🎲 #FamilyFunGoneWrong"

board, board games, competition, family, fun, game, game night, games, humor, i, lose, night, only, playful, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

0

6 months ago

advice, care, day, day off, days, humor, job, jobs, self, self-care, take, work
Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

0

3 weeks ago

2, binge, binge-watching, day, distraction, entertainment, happening, humor, movie, prevent, procrastination, thought, watching
Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

0

5 months ago

appearance, before, complaining, complaint, grooming, haircut, humor, men, need, ones, people, wait, waiting
My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

0

2 months ago

card, declined, eating, embarrassment, food, front, funny moment, humor, me, moment, sandwich, Subway
The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

0

2 months ago

advice, caution, humor, kids, nicely, notice, parenting, playing, thing, together, worst
The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

0

2 months ago

again, change, days, humor, rain, seasons, shorter, soon, time, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Facebook this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

40 shares on X this month:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Shared recently on Slack:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Going viral on TikTok:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Making waves on Twitch:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Going viral on TikTok:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Trending via Threads:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Shared recently on WeChat:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨