Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.