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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Shared recently on YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Freshly posted on Threads:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Just landed via WeChat:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Trending via Threads:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Just shared via X:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who runs the world? Naan! 🌟🍞 Just remember, when it comes to carbs, girls just want to have naan! 💁‍♀️🔥"

cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

98 shares on Threads this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Breaking via Twitch:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Shared recently on X:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Spotted on WeChat:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Spotted on YouTube:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Just landed via Snapchat:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Going viral on WeChat:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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Activity Log ✨

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Keep the laugh going 😂

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨