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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Breaking via Messenger:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Spotted on Slack:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Just landed via Threads:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who runs the world? Naan! 🌟🍞 Just remember, when it comes to carbs, girls just want to have naan! 💁‍♀️🔥"

cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

2 months ago

anxiety, came, comfort, comfort food, craving, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, i, irony, wish
When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

2 months ago

always, call, call center, center, customer, customer service, expectation, hold, humor, i, on hold, phone, pick, service, someone, song, waiting
Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

2 months ago

childhood, family, forget, house, humor, memory, never, noisy, noisy toy, parents, things, toy, toys
Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

3 months ago

better, cancer, child, child cancer, cost, humor, Lego, pricing, sarcasm, shit, toys, trying
I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

2 months ago

day, Groundhog, humor, ID, nature, over, prediction, trust, weather, weatherman
I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

3 months ago

dating, dog, ever, ghosted, humor, just, loyalty, me, pets, relationship, saying

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

85 shares on Discord this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Spotted on Facebook:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Trending via WeChat:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Just landed via TikTok:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Live now on Reddit:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Spotted on Reddit:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨