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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Trending via Pinterest:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Spotted on Slack:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Just landed via Discord:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Breaking via Slack:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who runs the world? Naan! 🌟🍞 Just remember, when it comes to carbs, girls just want to have naan! 💁‍♀️🔥"

cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

0

4 months ago

ask, conversation, excuse, got, honesty, humor, i, interaction, lying, media, outside, people, social, social interaction, social media, telling
I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

0

2 months ago

adult, candy, dinner, humor, i, indulgence, Skittles, why
Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

0

2 months ago

countdown, future, humor, job, life, patience, time, work
Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal perspective, boa, boa constrictor, constrictor, cute, expectations, free, free hug, hug, humor, irony, joke, perspective, sign, signs
I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

0

2 months ago

fireplace, funny observation, humor, i, irony, naming, observation, person, waterfall

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Going bananas on X:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Just landed via Discord:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Just landed via Instagram:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Just shared via X:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Making waves on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Trending via Reddit:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨