Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

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You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

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Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

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Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

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Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

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I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

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My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

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Called in, “Taking a gap year.”