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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,906

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Making waves on Messenger:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Just shared via YouTube:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Breaking via Instagram:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life hands you a map, just hope it's not labeled 'battlefield'. 🗺️😂

American, Americans, geography, God, humor, irony, joke, learn, learning, war

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

1 month ago
appearance, feeling, humor, learn, learning, looks, need, podcaster, reaction, surprise, weird, weird feeling, word
“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

1 month ago
air, environmental, humor, joke, love, microplastic, microplastics, pollution, sarcasm, wrong
Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

1 month ago
artist, courtroom, duty, funny situation, humor, imagine, jury, jury duty, lines, situation, sketch, sketch artist, stink, stink lines
Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

1 month ago
animal, cute, cute animal, distraction, dog, donut, funny moment, humor, i, late, moment, pet, photos, procrastination, shape, sleeping, sorry, take
I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

1 month ago
baby, childhood, downhill, humor, i, self-deprecation, ugly, ugly baby
You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

1 month ago
always, case, cleanliness, ghosts, humor, hygiene, laundry, need, once, routine, sheets, should, shower, spooky, wash, week, weekly, weekly routine

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Breaking via Reddit:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Making waves on Instagram:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Going viral on Telegram:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

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God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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