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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Spotted on Messenger:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Spotted on YouTube:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Live now on Snapchat:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Trending via Discord:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Live now on Instagram:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life hands you a map, just hope it's not labeled 'battlefield'. 🗺️😂

American, Americans, geography, God, humor, irony, joke, learn, learning, war

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

0

2 months ago

aging, bushe, drunk, fall, getting, humor, nice, nice thing, older, thing
He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

0

4 months ago

baby, book, books, humor, i, intelligence, read, reading, sarcasm, smart
I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

0

2 months ago

called, challenge, daily, daily goal, day, doing, every, goal, humor, i, just, month, motivation, November, perseverance, procrastination, through, try, where
It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

0

2 months ago

change, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, identity, myself, okay, personal, recognition, self
People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

0

2 months ago

advice, control, crazy, drive, humor, keys, life, life advice, people
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

0

2 months ago

bar, bruno, Bruno Mars, freddie, Freddie Mercury, humor, joke, Mars, Mercury, music, planet, pun, sports, venus, Venus Williams, walk, williams

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

86 shares on X this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

40 shares on X this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

14 shares on Twitch this month:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Going viral on Slack:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Breaking via Messenger:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just landed via X:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Just shared via Threads:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just shared via Instagram:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Spotted on Facebook:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨