Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Just shared via X:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Going viral on TikTok:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Live now on Reddit:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Live now on Messenger:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready for an adventure with the thrilling risk of low battery life and zero relationship drama! 🔋🚀🤣

battery, boyfriend, dating, going, going out, humor, independence, phone, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

0

3 months ago

clean, cog, core, machine, morning, night, productivity, self-care, sexy, shower, vibe, vibes
Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

0

2 months ago

cool, feel, feeling, humor, irony, smoking, vaping, want
I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing
Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, meant, reality, reality TV, satire, show, TV, us, 미국
Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

0

2 months ago

am, apology, communication, humor, i, lady, me, relationship, repeat, sorry, wrong
Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

0

5 months ago

alone, apartment, cause, cleaning, Funny, funny situation, having, humor, i, just, living, living alone, naked, own, place, situation, whole, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

15 shares on X this month:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Making waves on Facebook:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Just landed via Slack:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Shared recently on Threads:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Seen just now on Discord:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Going viral on Snapchat:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨