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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

38 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Live now on Telegram:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Making waves on Messenger:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Spotted on Slack:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

5 months ago

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐱📱 "Introducing the purr-fect app for all the cat sitters out there – Litterboxd! Finally, a platform where professionals can rate their furry clients based on claw-some behavior and meow-nificent cuddle sessions. Who knew a litterbox could be so full of digital possibilities? 😸💩 #CatLoversUnite"

app, care, cat, cat sitter, cats, comedy, humor, Litterboxd, pet, pet care, review, sitter, start, take, technology, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

38 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Spotted on Instagram:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Making waves on Telegram:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Going viral on Discord:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Going viral on Twitch:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Just shared via TikTok:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Spotted on Twitch:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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