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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Breaking via YouTube:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Trending via Threads:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Just landed via X:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Going bananas on Threads:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty morning greeting emphasizing patience with a humorous twist.

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Commentary:
😄🌞 "Good morning! If you hear crickets, you're on my nerves list. 😂🦗"

attitude, everyone, good, humor, mood, morning, morning mood, nerf, sarcasm

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

63 shares on Threads this month:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

13 shares on X this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

69 shares on X this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Going bananas on Threads:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Making waves on TikTok:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Making waves on YouTube:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Going viral on WeChat:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Just landed via Twitch:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Making waves on YouTube:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Keep the laugh going 😂

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨