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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Making waves on YouTube:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Live now on WeChat:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Freshly posted on Slack:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Trending via LinkedIn:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

0
Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.
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Commentary:
"Smile if you’re dressed and hope for the best if you’re not! 😄👗❓"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on X this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

38 shares on Slack this month:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

54 shares on Slack this month:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Body by sandwich.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

74 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Just shared via Reddit:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via X:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

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