Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Going viral on TikTok:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Spotted on WeChat:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Going viral on Reddit:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Spotted on Discord:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Spotted on Messenger:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

0
Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Smile if you’re dressed and hope for the best if you’re not! 😄👗❓"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

17 shares on X this month:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

47 shares on Slack this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Spotted on Discord:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Seen just now on Messenger:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Making waves on Facebook:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Live now on X:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Trending via Messenger:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴