Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Going viral on Messenger:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Just landed via Reddit:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Breaking via Discord:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize ASAP doesn’t actually mean "As Soon As Panic" 😂🕒💨

ASAP, attack, confusion, Googling, having, internet, internet search, means, misunderstanding, panic, panic attack, search, stress, urgency

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

2 months ago

activity, decision, focus, fun, fun activity, humor, job, leisure, quit, quitting, summer
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

3 months ago

activity, dog, dogs, humor, jump, lesson, lifespan, live, nothing, rabbit, run, turtle
I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

2 months ago

am, bed, fatigue, humor, i, irony, lunch, night, rest, tired, wish, work
Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

1 month ago

childhood, everyone, forgetfulness, humor, landline, memory, nostalgia, number, password, people, phone, phone number, recall, shoutout, technology, yesterday
Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

2 months ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

4 months ago

answer, dating, dinner, girl, girl dinner, heart, hearts, humor, man, men, persistence, refusal, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

18 shares on X this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

78 shares on Threads this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

22 shares on X this month:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Live now on Telegram:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Just shared via Reddit:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Going viral on Reddit:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Making waves on Facebook:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Trending via Discord:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨