Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.