Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

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Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

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I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

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I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

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The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

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These aliens are taking forever.

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Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

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The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.