Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Tested positive for being single af

Spotted on Twitch:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Just shared via Facebook:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Shared recently on Threads:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Making waves on Instagram:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

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Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like gravity's ready to hand in its resignation! 🍃🙃

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Discord this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t hate me, date me!

72 shares on Instagram this month:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m running out of people I like.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Just landed via Reddit:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Making waves on Slack:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Shared recently on Discord:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Going viral on Discord:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

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