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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Seen just now on Threads:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Live now on Telegram:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Breaking via Twitch:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Just landed via Reddit:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cheers to swapping glitter for slippers and bass drops for snack drops! 🛋️🍕🥳

adulting, cheers, choice, club, club scene, couch, cozy, cozy couch, crowded, growing, growing up, means, moments, nightlife, over, relaxation, scene

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

0

2 months ago

always, exciting, give, give up, humor, looking, motivation, new, new ways, procrastination, self-improvement, ways
Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

0

2 months ago

appetite, humor, irony, lose, loss, mind, perspective, things, thought
Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

0

2 months ago

argument, creativity, debate, humor, imagination, initiative, logic, shows, stuff
I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

0

2 months ago

connection, crazy, crazy person, dating, humor, just, looking, love, me, normal, person, relationship, self-perception
At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

0

2 months ago

assume, assumption, buy, everyone, going, humor, just, loser, point, Tesla
Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, fun, humor, media, most, relaxation, social, social media, toilet, Twitter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

69 shares on Threads this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

50 shares on Discord this month:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Seen just now on X:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Shared recently on Slack:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The peace of not knowing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Going viral on Twitch:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨