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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Trending via WhatsApp:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Going viral on YouTube:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Just shared via Threads:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe all the Codys have formed a secret society of adults who still know the best hide-and-seek spots 🕵️‍♂️🙌😂

adult, class, Cody, elementary, elementary school, every, growing, growing up, i, met, name, nostalgia, school, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

0

2 months ago

activity, book, bored, entertainment, fun, humor, irony, leisure, read
I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

0

2 months ago

connection, connectivity, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, internet, online, only, option, technology, turn, WhatsApp, Wi-Fi, wifi, wish
Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

0

2 months ago

bad, bathroom, combination, having, household, humor, inconvenience, joke, outside, practical, practical joke, sibling, switch
What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

0

2 months ago

career, compatible, humor, joke, lifestyle, most, unemployed, unemployment, work
Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

0

2 months ago

beards, cleaning, humor, men, relationship, sexy, shaving, sick, washbasin, women
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

6 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WeChat this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨