Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Making waves on Messenger:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Just landed via X:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Just landed via Telegram:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Trending via WeChat:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Spotted on Instagram:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
👀 When gas prices are high but the priorities remain… interesting 🚗💸

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

0

2 months ago

couple, couple humor, hate, hatred, humor, humor quote, people, relationships, romance, romantic, same, sarcasm
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

0

4 weeks ago

argument, belief, Christmas, good, holiday, humor, i, Santa, should, skepticism, still, stop, tradition, why
Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

0

2 months ago

anthropologist, booth, cultural, dj, humor, i, music, only, party, yes
Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

0

3 months ago

algorithm, complaint, customer, customer service, developer, humor, i, manager, service, speak, want
My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, child, furniture, guess, humor, i, next, pancakes, parenting, sticking, sticky, syrup, week
Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

0

1 week ago

cataclysmic, cataclysmic event, event, events, finger, fingers, humor, skin

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Discord this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

86 shares on Discord this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

19 shares on X this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

79 shares on Slack this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Live now on Pinterest:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Breaking via Twitch:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨