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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spotted on WeChat:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Making waves on Messenger:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
👀 When gas prices are high but the priorities remain… interesting 🚗💸

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

0

2 months ago

act, advice, around, comedy, confidence, disguise, embarrassment, etiquette, face, farting, funny tips, humor, humor advice, just, key, loud, natural, people, prank, quick, social, social etiquette, tips
Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

0

2 months ago

answer, enemy, humor, life, never, outlive, resilience, struggle, suicide
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles
No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, being, costume, crisis, Halloween, humor, identity, knowing, life, life purpose, mid-20s, need, nothing, purpose, quarter-life, quarter-life crisis, self-discovery, uncertainty, want, year
Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

0

2 months ago

edge, email, finds, humor, me, sarcasm, unwell, wit
Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

0

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, dating, deal, flirt, Friday, girl, humor, joke, line, pickup, pickup line, wondering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

56 shares on Discord this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Just landed via Twitch:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨