Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,287

Funny Quotes Topics

17,408

Funny Quotes Images

15,287

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Breaking via Slack:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Breaking via Telegram:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Just landed via Discord:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Just shared via X:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Shared recently on Discord:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Zero guilt, infinite pleasure! 😎✨ #LivingMyBestLife

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

0

4 months ago

35mm, 35mm film, camera, candid, film, film camera, girl, girls, humor, only, photograph, photography, thing, want
Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

0

2 months ago

after, away, back, bed, comfort, coming, coziness, days, homecoming, own, personal, personal space, relaxation, resting, retreat, sleep, space
People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

0

2 months ago

back, bad, fear, fruit, having, humor, me, much, people, please, scare, sugar, talk, too, wicked, witch
Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

0

5 months ago

9, hour, hours, humor, invent, invention, late, late night, midnight, night, please, someone, time, wish
At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

0

2 months ago

appointment, blood, blood pressure, doctor, end, humor, irony, medical, own, pressure, self-care
I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, constant, conversation, fear, humor, i, just, listening, live, repeat, say

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

82 shares on Threads this month:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Going viral on WeChat:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Going viral on YouTube:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Just landed via Twitch:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨