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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Trending via Facebook:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Live now on Threads:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Just shared via Discord:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sacrifices must be made for the AI overlords 🤖💧 Give up the soap, folks! #AllInForChatGPT

ChatGPT, conservation, guys, humor, i, joke, need, shower, stop, technology, water, water conservation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

0

2 months ago

adult, affair, affairs, again, call, desperate, humor, less, relationship, situationship, sounds, terminology
I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

0

2 months ago

activity, audio, audio tour, commentary, critique, family, humor, museum, need, teen, time, tour, visit
If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, ever, honesty, humor, i, introvert, just, know, me, public, situation, social, social situation, want
Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

0

4 months ago

always, being, benefit, early, humor, irritation, just, minutes, mood, morning, past, waking, waking up
By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

0

4 months ago

40, again, age, age 40, body, body image, clothes, day, eternal, fashion, fit, humor, image, keep, optimism, should, size, size too small, small, too, wardrobe
I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

0

2 months ago

confidence, cute, humor, i, joke, just, keep, media, selfie, selfie joke, social, social media, still, update, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Spotted on Threads:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Spotted on WeChat:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Live now on Twitch:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Going viral on Twitch:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Breaking via Messenger:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨