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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Trending via Telegram:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Just shared via Messenger:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Live now on Reddit:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Just shared via X:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Breaking via Reddit:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pajama productivity level: Expert unlocked! 🛁🛋️😄

clean, daily, daily routine, day, humor, pajamas, productive, productive day, put, routine, self-care, shower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

0

4 weeks ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, drink, humor, kettle, let, main, me, phrase, put, reasons, say, stuff, tea
I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

0

3 days ago

commentary, consuming, humor, i, obeying, sarcasm, social, social commentary, someone
I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

0

2 months ago

break, dating, humor, love, need, relationship, sarcasm, sorry, soul, soulmate, witty
I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

0

2 months ago

dating, even, humor, husband, match, me, relationship, single, Tinder
Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

0

2 months ago

attention, being, catering, exactly, fall, family, hack, humor, i, life, life hack, needs, nice, situation, stairs, sure, whole
They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

0

2 months ago

back, betrayal, cut, humor, knife, mad, relationships, ty, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

42 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Live now on WeChat:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Going viral on TikTok:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

69 but we both just farting.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Live now on LinkedIn:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨