Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Just landed via Threads:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Just landed via Messenger:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Trending via Facebook:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Bathroom lights: the ultimate sibling pranking tool! Just add a brother and shake well. 😂💡🚪"

bad, bathroom, combination, having, household, humor, inconvenience, joke, outside, practical, practical joke, sibling, switch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, commit, existential, goal, humor, life, seppuku
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

0

2 months ago

ambition, ever, humor, i, kid, late, little, procrastination, wanted, work
If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

0

2 months ago

being, born, culture, humor, literature, modern, name, reference, Shakespeare, today, wordplay
Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

0

1 month ago

dad, every, family, humor, i, mom, parent, reaction, refund, relationship, sarcasm, something, stares, stupid, time, wants
Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

0

2 months ago

creativity, dance, fun, humor, interpretive, interpretive dance, meltdown, performance, self-expression, spice
Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

0

2 months ago

busines, business, drama, entertainment, everyone, humor, irony, media, society, tabloid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

15 shares on Slack this month:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Going viral on X:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Just landed via Telegram:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Seen just now on Messenger:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just landed via Twitch:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Going viral on X:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨