Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Trending via Messenger:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Live now on TikTok:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going viral on Instagram:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Spotted on Slack:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Live now on Instagram:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's creating some major ripples in the skipping rock economy! 🌊 No need to get stoned over it, bro! 🤣 #RockStar"

activity, bro, friendship, fun, fun activity, good, humor, outdoor, river, rock, rocks, skipping, skipping rock, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

0

2 months ago

buy, clothes, fashion, humor, irony, lot, money, need, people, perception, right, shopping, think, wealth
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

0

5 months ago

anyone, different, different realm, escape, fantasy, humor, introvert, joke, me, needs, realm, social, social withdrawal, withdrawal
Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

0

2 months ago

bit, breakup, call, divorce, expense, expensive, humor, just, marriage, middle, relationship, skip, stress
Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

0

2 months ago

actually, books, buying, different, hobby, humor, leisure, pastime, reading
Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

0

2 months ago

baby, back, back pain, growing, growth, humor, pain, reassurance, wing, wings, worry
Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

0

2 months ago

ad, before, distraction, entertainment, humor, necessary, online, online video, saying, shut, shut up, skip, skipping, video, YouTube

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

55 shares on Telegram this month:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Just shared via X:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Trending via Messenger:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Freshly posted on X:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Live now on X:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Making waves on Telegram:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Breaking via Facebook:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Going viral on Discord:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨