Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Commentary:
“Oh, I see we’ve entered the ‘telepathy’ phase of our conversation! 🤔💭 Don’t worry, I’ll start working on my mind-reading skills right away. Just give me a sec to find my crystal ball 🔮😂”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old existential question about men and their sneezes! 🤔👴🤧 Do we need to start measuring sneeze decibels to predict when the explosion might happen? 📏💥🤯 Stay tuned for the booming conclusion of this sneeze saga! 😂👃 #SneezeVolumeExploding”

  • Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the age-old wisdom of the beer connoisseur! 🍺🍻 One beer is good, but why settle for good when you can have great? Another round, please! Cheers to always aiming for excellence and having a steadfast commitment to quality control. 😉👍 #BeerLogic

  • Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

    Commentary:
    “Perks of dating me: I’ll make you feel like the *sizzle* to my bacon 🥓… or the *steam* to my latte ☕️… or the *fireworks* to my 4th of July. Basically, I’ll ensure you’re the ‘hot’ topic wherever we go! 😎🔥 #sizzleandswag”

  • You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a crystal ball when you have a tree outside someone’s house to spy on them? 🌳👀 Nothing says ‘neighborhood watch’ quite like branching out into investigative tree work! 🕵️‍♂️ #TreePeeper”

  • Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

    Commentary:
    “Pet owners have a talent for assigning multiple identities to their furry friends – Meet Snoopy, a.k.a. Booboo and Thicky Boy! 🐶🤣 Who knew our pets were such masters of disguise? 😄”

  • It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the perfect mix of irony and social media struggles! 🥄👍 Now if only those spoons could bring in those precious likes! 😅 #MillennialProblems”