Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, I see we've entered the 'telepathy' phase of our conversation! 🤔💭 Don't worry, I'll start working on my mind-reading skills right away. Just give me a sec to find my crystal ball 🔮😂"

communication, conversation, expectations, humor, i, noticed, observation, relationship, saying, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

0

2 months ago

anyone, Cybertruck, empty, empty seat, humor, never, observation, passenger, seat, seen, tech, vehicle
Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

0

2 months ago

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth
I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

0

2 months ago

after, checkmate, drinking, hours, humor, i, Jesus, joke, turn, water, wine
About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

0

2 months ago

activity, enjoy, film, first time, fun, fun activity, i, movie, Tenet, time, watch
Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

0

2 months ago

after, birthday, birthday party, celebration, everyone, going, Hobbit, huge, humor, insult, insulting, myself, party, right, self-party, summer, throw, vanish
Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

0

2 months ago

animal, back, behavior, communication, else, every, house, leave, pet, pets, soon, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Trending via YouTube:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Just shared via YouTube:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Trending via Pinterest:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Just landed via X:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Live now on Slack:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Spotted on TikTok:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨