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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Just shared via Slack:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Spotted on Twitch:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brain outsourced, thinking power restored! 🤔🔄🧠

communication, decision making, humor, i, me, sarcasm, should, think, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

2 months ago

arrogance, confidence, enough, humor, losing, me, revenge, self-esteem, someone
Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

2 months ago

creativity, humor, joke, plastic, problem, solve, turtle, turtles
Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

2 months ago

bogus, culture, expression, humor, language, learn, new, slang, stay, why
I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

2 months ago

am, girlfriend, hot, i, know, people, relationship, street, walking, want
I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

2 months ago

accidentally, accidents, gardening, hate, humor, i, leaf, neighbor, neighbors, outdoors, yard
Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

2 months ago

conversation, honey, humor, internet, media, online, online conversation, relationship, social, social media, stranger, strangers, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Twitch this month:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

46 shares on X this month:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

98 shares on Threads this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Making waves on TikTok:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Making waves on WeChat:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Just landed via TikTok:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Just shared via Slack:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Going bananas on Discord:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Broadcasted on Slack:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨