Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

27 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Making waves on Facebook:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Reported on Discord:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Making waves on X:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Breaking via Facebook:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Spotted on Reddit:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Breaking via Discord:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

6 months ago

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, seems like your buddy's secret life is finally out of the closet! 📖🏠 Who knew house-sitting could lead to such unexpected discoveries? Next time you're asked to watch over a place, make sure to check for hidden diaries and scandalous secrets! 😂 #HouseSittingAdventures #DiaryGate

diary, discovery, friends, funny moment, house, house sitting, item, moment, never, personal, personal item, sitting, surprise, town, unexpected, unexpected discovery

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

27 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Spotted on Messenger:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Just shared via Telegram:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Trending via Instagram:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Spotted on TikTok:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Breaking via X:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴