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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Trending via Telegram:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Just shared via Facebook:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Just landed via Messenger:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Shared recently on Twitch:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Trending via Telegram:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Live now on TikTok:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey mosquitoes, I'm not a buffet! 🍽️🦟🙅‍♂️"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

36 shares on X this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Going viral on Facebook:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

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