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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Trending via Instagram:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Trending via WeChat:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Just shared via Discord:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

1 month ago

Playful quote about the pain of job hunting with witty, sarcastic humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the infamous job search question – a true emotional rollercoaster! 🎢 First of all, asking about it is like poking a sleeping dragon. Second, it's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded! 🤷‍♂️ One simply cannot predict the mysteries of the job hunting universe!"

conversation, frustration, going, hell, humor, hurts, i, job, job search, know, me, question, sarcasm, search, second, should, violent, violent question

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

51 shares on Slack this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

39 shares on X this month:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

30 shares on Slack this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Making waves on Threads:

Your opinions are not my business.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Live now on YouTube:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Shared recently on Discord:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

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