Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Going viral on Twitch:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Trending via Facebook:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Going viral on Telegram:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Aliens are probably watching us like we’re the universe’s longest-running sitcom 😂👽🍿

always, case, existence, humanity, humor, irony, philosophy, skepticism, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

0

2 months ago

America, captain, Captain America, culture, drug, drugs, enhancing, everyone, humor, i, irony, just, love, me, need, performance, performance enhancing drug, pop, pop culture, self-improvement, superhero, take
Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

0

2 months ago

banana, expectation, expectations, game, humor, Kart, Mario, Mario Kart, me, peel, racing, traffic, unrealistic
As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

0

2 months ago

before, child, desire, family, generation, grandson, humor, i, nostalgia, time, time traveller, traveller, wanted
If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

0

2 months ago

close, enough, everyone, funny observation, humor, insane, insanity, observation, perception, reality
I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

0

2 months ago

clothes, exhausted, fashion, frazzled, humor, idea, model, real, real idea, relatable, self-image, website
Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

0

2 months ago

asking, extraterrestrial, humor, i, joke, joke about transportation, me, once, rides, sci-fi, space, transportation, UFO

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

35 shares on X this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Making waves on Instagram:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Going bananas on X:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Just landed via Slack:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Making waves on TikTok:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My favorite color is money.

Going viral on Telegram:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨