Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Just shared via Instagram:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Seen just now on Slack:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Just landed via Telegram:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Making waves on WeChat:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Shared recently on TikTok:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Aliens are probably watching us like we’re the universe’s longest-running sitcom 😂👽🍿

always, case, existence, humanity, humor, irony, philosophy, skepticism, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

0

2 months ago

bear, biblical, biblical phrases, crops, cursing, eat, fruit, hope, humor, i, insults, mustard, mustard seed, people, phrases, ravens, sarcasm, seed, seeds, start, wit
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side
Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

0

5 months ago

habit, humor, irony, keep, learning, mistake, mistakes, new, old, ones, procrastination, repetition, same, self-awareness, why
I love my bed so much, what a place.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, much, place, relaxation
Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

0

2 months ago

broken, escape, escape key, frustration, humor, i, keep, key, keyboard, office, still, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

100 shares on X this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

18 shares on X this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

11 shares on X this month:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

At least life has music.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Social media is mental suicide.

Seen just now on X:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Breaking via WeChat:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Making waves on WeChat:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Trending via Threads:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Making waves on Slack:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Trending via Instagram:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Live now on Snapchat:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨