Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Live now on WeChat:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Shared recently on X:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Aliens are probably watching us like we’re the universe’s longest-running sitcom 😂👽🍿

always, case, existence, humanity, humor, irony, philosophy, skepticism, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

0

2 months ago

delete, humor, invent, media, people, posts, should, social, social media, technology
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires
Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

0

5 days ago

advice, asking, comparison, doctor, doctors, engineer, humor, idea, medical, medical advice, nutrition, printer, printers, software, software engineer, technology
Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

0

2 months ago

coworker, humble, humor, identity, modesty, self-awareness, stay, weird, workplace, workplace humor
We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

0

2 months ago

comedy, disorderly, drunk, fun, humor, pairing, relationship, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

38 shares on Threads this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

55 shares on Threads this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Broadcasted on X:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Making waves on Discord:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Going viral on Discord:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Trending via Twitch:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨