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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Live now on Twitch:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Making waves on Reddit:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Just landed via Facebook:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Making waves on Twitch:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Just landed via Messenger:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Seen just now on Threads:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, to be an aunt – the myth of endless wealth shattered with every baby gift 🎁💸 #AuntieLife #BankAccountEmpty"

adulthood, always, aunt, family, humor, i, lot, money, myself, realization, responsibility, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

0

2 months ago

actors, comedy, feelings, fun, humor, i, kissing, movie, reaction, romantic, said, strong, subtitles, surprise, unexpected, while
The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

0

2 months ago

charge, days, fat, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, remind, reminder, technology, watch
Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

0

2 months ago

activity, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, home, home activity, household, household task, humor, Olympics, petition, sheet, task
Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, humor, indifference, life, perseverance, realization, show
Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

0

2 months ago

advice, culture, dua, Dua Lipa, games, humor, lipa, Luigi, Mario, platform, pop, pop culture, singer, video, video games
I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

0

2 months ago

al, Al Bundy, bundy, comedy, humor, i, marriage, relationships, skills, television, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

48 shares on X this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

14 shares on X this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Freshly posted on Threads:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Breaking via Discord:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Seen just now on TikTok:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Shared recently on Threads:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Live now on Snapchat:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Making waves on Discord:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨