Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Seen just now on Threads:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Making waves on WeChat:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Just shared via Reddit:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Going viral on Instagram:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Just shared via Facebook:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Just shared via X:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Going viral on X:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

0
I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, so you're not a 'quiet quitter,' you're just on fire 🔥🔥🔥! Sounds like your burnout level is reaching new heights…literally! 🚒💨 Take some time to cool off and recharge, perhaps literally if you can find a nice ice bath! ❄️😅"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

69 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

41 shares on X this month:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

15 shares on Slack this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

98 shares on Slack this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Just landed via YouTube:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Just landed via Discord:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Going viral on Reddit:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Trending via Threads:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Just shared via TikTok:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴