Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
  • Donating blood today to make room for more food.
  • Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?
  • Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.
  • My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.
  • I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.