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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Spotted on Telegram:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Going bananas on X:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Making waves on Telegram:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Live now on Snapchat:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

4 days ago

Playful quote about showcasing musical memory and fun confidence in a humorous way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, that's definitely a quack-tastic flex! I guess you could say you're a real quackstar in the making. As for me, well, let's just say my talents lie more in the realm of knowing all the lyrics to the '90s sitcom theme songs. Different strokes for different folks, right?"

activity, childhood, culture, DuckTales, flex, fun, fun activity, intro, intro song, music, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, sing, song

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on X this month:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Just shared via YouTube:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Trending via Pinterest:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Going viral on Discord:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Just shared via Threads:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

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