Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Just shared via Messenger:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Seen just now on Threads:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Trending via Threads:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Live now on Threads:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Spotted on Slack:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the horror of trying to hide your TikTok dances from your parents! 💃👨‍👩‍👧🙈"

alive, being, eating, high, high school, i, imagine, right, school, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought
Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

0

2 months ago

body, change, color, color change, every, eye, eye color, eyes, funny idea, humor, idea, little, rub, rubbing, should, time
Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

0

2 months ago

buy, Christmas, good, honesty, humor, list, mind, never, once, own, Santa, stuff, time, wish, wish list, year
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, boredom, cynicism, heart, humor, humor quote, i, know, least, people, sarcasm, say, stuff, think, true, war, well, work, WWIII
At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

0

2 months ago

buffet, food, humor, ID, joke, play, play on words, size, Slayer, vampire, words
Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

0

2 months ago

drunk, drunk shopping, experience, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, hunger, hungry, online, online shopping, relatable, relatable humor, shopping, shopping experience

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on X this month:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

11 shares on X this month:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

93 shares on Threads this month:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

44 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Just landed via Instagram:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Trending via Discord:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Trending via Messenger:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Just shared via X:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Live now on Slack:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Just landed via Reddit:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Spotted on YouTube:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Just landed via Slack:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨