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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,036

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Breaking via X:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Trending via Slack:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got the work-life balance figured out 🏆😅 #ProLevelRelaxation

30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

1 month ago
anything, cauliflower, dream, dreams, food, give, humor, inspiration, motivation, noodle, noodles, pizza, too, want, zucchini
What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

1 month ago
captcha, human, humor, image, images, irony, light, lights, select, technology, traffic, traffic light, us
You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

1 month ago
advice, bad, dentist, drink, eat, food, health, humor, name, should, teeth, toothpaste, water
I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

3 months ago
beating, better, conversation, dead, dead horse, friendship, girl, girls, horse, humor, i, letting, love, never, night, nothing, peace, rehash, rest, Saturday, Saturday night
Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

2 months ago
circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well
You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

1 month ago
check, fun, humor, most, most played, music, played, recognition, self-love, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

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I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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