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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Spotted on Twitch:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Freshly posted on X:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Making waves on Telegram:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Just landed via Reddit:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got the work-life balance figured out 🏆😅 #ProLevelRelaxation

30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

0

6 months ago

adulting, cheers, choice, club, club scene, couch, cozy, cozy couch, crowded, growing, growing up, means, moments, nightlife, over, relaxation, scene
Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, humor, i, irony, listening, me, myself, repeat, sarcasm
Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

0

2 months ago

food, gut, humor, i, me, put, self-deprecation, snacks, tell, trust, weakness, where
I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

0

2 months ago

blanket, comfort, form, human, human form, humor, i, preferences, relaxation, weighted, weighted blanket
Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

0

1 month ago

celebration, early, eat, holiday, humor, idea, leave, once, only, party, people, right, Santa, snack, socializing, tradition, visit, year
I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

0

2 months ago

am, dream, dream woman, enter, forest, hear, humor, i, nature, raven, ravens, shouting, sudden, surprise, surreal, unexpected, warning, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on X this month:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

54 shares on X this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

40 shares on Slack this month:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Spotted on Facebook:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Just landed via Slack:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Going viral on X:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Just landed via Threads:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨