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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Seen just now on X:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

12 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote highlighting environmental frustration with corporate greed and AI pollution.

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Commentary:
Trying to save the planet one toothpaste spit at a time, but AI is over there doing the Macarena on our carbon footprint 😂🦷🤖🌍

AI, brushing, brushing teeth, conservation, corporation, environment, faucet, humor, i, ruin, spend, teeth, turning, water, water conservation, while

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87 shares on Reddit this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

34 shares on X this month:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Making waves on Slack:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Making waves on Twitch:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Live now on Snapchat:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Trending via Twitch:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Going viral on Twitch:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Trending via Pinterest:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

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Activity Log ✨

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨